I love you , That's my secret .

I don’t expect you to text me 24/7 . I don’t expect you to call me everyday . I don’t expect you to surprise me with roses . I don’t expect you to buy me the world on my birthday . I don’t expect you to always agree with what I say . I don’t expect you to pay for everything . I don’t expect you to go out of your way and buy all the things that I mention I wanted . I don’t expect you to believe I’m the best girlfriend in the whole world . I don’t expect you to never mention a hot girl in front of me . I don’t expect you to already know what I want . I don’t expect you to never be mad at me . I just expect you to be trustworthy, to trust me , to never take me for granted like I won’t take you for . Now I don’t like using words like forever , but I will love you until the end of today . It's look like , I dont care how many " beetle " out there . I dont want" beetle " I just want you . Dont you understand that ? I wanna be the girl you fall for when everyone else is falling for you . You know what dude , I really do love you .

IrsyadSyn

31 March , it's seriously busted now

I think you are the best guy that I have ever met.

No . I'm not okay . I'm just tired . If you are skinny , people will call you anorexic . If you are intelligent , people will call you a smartass. If you are pretty , people will call you fake . No matter what , people will always find something wrong with you . The trick ? Just don’t give a fuck to them . Sigh . Tomorrow is April Fools people . You may be worried about falling victim to practical jokes and gags , but why spend the whole holiday on guard ? Relax , and crack a smile with them :) and not forget to Dylla . Happy Birthday to you pretty , same day with April Fools . LOL :) . Well , Keep calm girl and be vintage tomorrow .

p/s : I spent too much time with Hareesa today :)

and I miss you badly Irsyad * even when we are talking *

exam

Are you pushing your child too much ?

If your child smart and motivated , but for some reason doesn’t test well ? It may be situational , rather than scholastic . No parents reading , right ? Good . Not that I’m about to write anything bad here , but I’m just trying to keep this between me and you . It’s obvious you are motivated and smart , because why else would you be here reading this ? kidding :) . I know what goes on in school and student’s lives , and how hard it is to "juggle" everything going on at once . I spent my eleven years of my life doing the exact things too , so I'm hoping that I would be good at it by now :p . Tests are how we will be evaluated as long as we are in school . If you take the advice or tips inside to heart and give an honest effort , I guarantee your grades will improve . And remember guys , Stop Cheating ! :) . Thnks you . Anyway , this Saturday is vela birthday . Thnks for remind me dude , I know I'm useless :p . hehe , Okay Stop ! Move on , Like seriously , I cant wait for this 17 April :) ! Well , Irsyad decided to come to my house after he's done everything . And Hopefully , You really really make it sayang . Or not you are so deaddddd honey

Because I care

I wanna come and make things better , I wanna come to you just to make you happy again , just to stand by your side & just to stop the tears . When we are together , I dont want you to leave me . To be honest , I really miss you right now . so baddly :( . I miss the way we could stare into each others eyes and never get bored . The way I always felt complete when we were near . I felt so safe when I was around you . I didn’t know I would miss you so much like this . It's really killing me right now . Thanks for "correcting me" when I was wrong , cehhhh . You alwys right . & Thanks for giving me the joys and smiles from day one . I dont care what people say , as long I'm happy with you <3 . I'm happy to have you now . I'm too scared to let you go . I never want to lose you . All I feel now are joys . All my sorrows are history . What else can I say now? It's because you complete me . I lost my faith , but you gave it back to me .Thnk you so much .

IrsyadSyn , Twenty <3

Good Times

Yesterday , I went to Pavilion KL with Irsyad :) . We watched " How to train your dragon " movie . My feelings for “How to Train Your Dragon” fall right in the middle . I didn’t love it , but I certainly didn’t hate it . Frankly speaking , How to Train Your Dragon is better than most of the Dreamworks animated films . The bonding scenes between Hiccup and Toothless are really sweet . After movie , We went to Old Town White Cafe and had our lunch . Then we went to baskin robbin and lastly went to THE TIMES and met rommie & akim . I really had fun yesterday . You have done so much for me which I'm thankful for . Just remember one thing . . .

Iloveyou .

Alice in Wonderland

I've been waiting for this movie since I knew it was being made . I must say , Tim Burton’s movies are awesome ! Well not exactly mine to be frank . I am a bit sceptical about this movie , this is arguably Tim Burton’s most extravagant venture in a while , and I like him better when he is dark and weird , like in Sleepy Hollow and Edward Scissorhands. But I haven’t see a Burton movie in a while , so I am looking forward to this . Johnny Depp has his own character in portraying in any films . By his gestures itself , it's like WOW :) ! that's really him ! The only thing I did not like about the movie is that it was not based on the book "Alice in Wonderland" , but instead based on the book "Alice Through the Looking Glass" . Overall , OKAY :) .

Tim Burton fans

two is better than one honey :)

Irsyad Syn <3

Officially I'm taken last night . hahahaha , Still 20 March :) . How do I begin to tell you the love I have for you inside . Please know that these feelings are true . We have been through so much obstacle . Eventho yesterday you are not with me but you still made my day , You have brought me joy . You have shown me what it's like to love again taking away all of my sad and loneliness . Thank you for being a part of me & Thank you for coming into my life . iloveyou that not mean I only love you means that I can accept you for the person that you are and that I don't wish to
change you into someone else . I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain , nor the future with its untold stories BUT I can be there now, as in the past, when you need me to care . Remember this sweetheart , Your decisions in life are not mine to make , nor to judge . I can only support you , encourage you , and help you when you ask . Alright ? You are not alone now , you with me .

remember the good times

Yesterday , 20 March 2010 .

Went to Sunway Pyramid with ieka , kiki & dee . Like seriously , I'm so happy until now . Cant stop smiling :D . At 5.40am , thnks a lot to zakwan . kau buat aku tersentap -.- .Then we reached at sunway around 10.40 something then straight went to redbox . Me looooikkkkeee , yeahh . hahaha , we had our breakfast at redbox then at 1pm went to cotton on . and suddenly I saw Hafriz :D . Then , texted him and met hafriz at ice skating . We laugh a lot ! hahaha , orang jatuh kita gelak . jahat gila . hahaha . went to mcd , kiki belanja <3 . then , met aziem , kecik & zakwan at entrance . After that , we went to Starbucks while waiting for ewan & boy . they fetch us at entrance sunway , and going to A.C . Then after A.C went back to Sunway again and lepaking at Tarbush . Fav <3 . around 6 something , went to car park and went to klang . after klang went back to setiawangsa , but I never make it . MRR2 fucking jam okay . bila pikir balik , x pe lah boy hantar munie balik :( coz jam sangat . balik balik dah malam , nasib mama & ayah x marah :D .We had so much fun together . we even played . Life was great for a while .It seemed we could talk for a mile , LOL . hahahaha . The memories we made so great , all those nights laughing and smiling , staying up so late .

Accept me for who I am.

First , I dont give a fuck to you . Second , Dont expect me to respect your feeling after this . and Third , I wouldn't do a thing to hurt you . I can't hold on much longer . I'm just getting fedup with this situation .

Love is great when it is fresh and happening and when you feel it slipping away , both the times love makes us feel there is nothing like love in our life .But for me , Love sucks and It's hurt too . I'm over it . So yes , Officially I dont need anyone else to make my day even make me happy when I'm sad . Enough , I have them to be with me . " I will not cry even I will not worry anymore " . I wish I could say that getting over you was the last thing on my mind . Anyway , I've got exams all next week until 8-April . & I'm struggling with maths and account . I was really scared guys :S . And the teachers made it worse " you must pass this and that subject and so bla bla bla . . . " all that crap -.- , LOL but honestly don't worry it's really not as bad as it seems . Hopefully okay ! So what are you waiting for munie , Stop playing around & dreaming ! Focus on your SPM . Well , you just relax munie and make sure you eat breakfast that morning because It's find that really helped you to concentrate more :) and you do " love toilet " right ?

I'm kinda fucked up

Many people do many things not because they are interested in it , but because others tell them they should do it , it is “fashionable” to do it , for peer approval , to keep their family members and friends happy . But they do not realize that do keep others happy , you have to be happy yourself.

I'm done with cooking , cleaning , dusting & swabbing the floor . So many going on but I just cant think how to express it out . Supposed go out to pavilion today with Izrai . But I'm so sorry dude ! like serious shit ! Dont blame me , but blame mommy -.- . Well , Ieka just called , and she asking me " where are you " . Sadly , I'm at home :( . Yeahh , I need to take care of this house and my little sister . damnnnn youuu girl . eyhh tak tak , syg adik hehe :) . I'm sleepy right now . But I cant go to sleep . It's fucking noisy here , kring kong kring kong . haihhhh . I still hoping that tmrw I can meet you . but I know that I will never make it so never mind . At least I put an effort here , right ? Oh yeahh , I dahhh booking redbox ! :D HURAYYYY girls . hahaha . Glupp , I'm fucking excited here . Currently , MSN-ing with kiki & hafriz right now . & hafriz told me that he's going to sunway too this saturday with faizal , aziem , kecik , zakwan and else . Well , I still can meet you guys :) <3

showtimes

Since I'm signed in so I decide to write some . I'm not feeling so well this few days . It was a week for throwing things , I guess . Anyway , when I was little, I quickly discovered that I was not as good at being cool as everyone else . hahahaha . Well , I had nothing to blog about today . Nothing much happened . I'd been wondering the same thing . I'd also been worrying about another thing ,
" MONEY " . Actually , I dont have problem with that , I just need to say " mom can I have 50 bucks ? using my money FULLSTOP . Now we bold the words " using my money " . Yupp , my money with my mom right now . But the main reason that I feel like uncomfortable when she asking me " what for"-.- , duhhh . Okay , Whatever mom . So Tomorrow , Wednesday I'm going to pavilion with my friends and currently Izrai Aqil with me :) BUT " I'm still stick to the one's Okay ". Then , Thursday I'm going to pavilion again with "bby face" . Yeahhh Just two of us *keningkening* I know you hate that emotion , but I loiiikkeee . hehehe , I wanted to watch Alice In wonderland with him and you jangan nak buat hal lagi -.- . Our movie at 1.50pm TAU bukan 2.05pm . And lastly on Saturday , I'm going to Sunway Pyramid with kiki , ieka and dee . URGHHH , I cant wait girls . excited ni , hahahah ! but I wish you were there too "bby face" , Like seriously :( . But I know you will never make it , because you got class on Saturday . You busy with your guitar class and then you got tuition at 1 and then probably you got lesen memandu kelas KAN ! Okay , That's all for today . much love <3

I miss this :DD

" I feel angry, upset , bummed , anxious . I don't know how to let go of it . I want to blame someone but i know that's not quite right . I want to escape . . . this feeling . Last night feeling .

Some days I miss writing here . I actually really do , In my head it sounds witty and fun and interesting but when I actually sit in front of my computer I blank . . . what was I going to write about -.- ? I been thinking why its been so difficult to write here . I think a main reason is that I don't feel I can freely express how feel here anymore . Too many people from too many places are reading this and maybe I'm afraid to share some of my thoughts . I don't know . I dont want to make it a password protected blog either though . So I'm just working up the courage to write the raw and real stuff on here . I used to do that or at least it felt that way . Okay So , I finally decided that I'm going to pavilion this Thursday and Sunway this Saturday . I still don't know how I feel about it but I think it's a good idea . . . right ? So today , I went to school at 8.00am because I got extra-class for account . 5Amanah Combined with 5Omega . The people here are very friendly and are interested in knowing who you are . . . they dont speak much, but when they do , you know you are ok with them . So Okay lah . Not so bad . I'm not totally unhappy. I just have bad days and some things to work out , but overall I'm okay , really . I'm just so tired not going places and being stuck . I know it takes time . Its just that getting so sick kind pushed me over the edge . You know ?

BestFriends Story

Syakila Sani , Ieka Syahirah , Farah Diyana & Aziq Vela .

Friends come and go , but later they will come again . You have just got to admit it , there are times when you need your friends , more than your family . It’s pretty complicated actually but even if the truth hurts or disappoint you , you just have to accept it . There are things you can’t do with your family but you’re able to do so with your friends and vice versa . That’s how things go . Yes ! a friend can hurt you because we can’t read each others mind . So one thing I can do is to say sorry often for my invisible sins and misbehaviors towards my friends . If you are expecting trust from your bestfriends , you can ! partially because no one’s perfect . If they are a real good friend , they will support you standing back up again , and later put the smile back on your face . Remember , the world is not a setting of fairy tales . They will be sad moments and happy moments , and so it goes with your bestfriends .

Dear Friends ,

The times when only you stood by me have made me who I am now . Much stronger and brave to face the coming days . Thanks for everything and I thank God for bringing our souls to meet . You guys are ever the best a person could have for a friends . I don’t know what I’d ever do without them . From the beginning to the end , you guys have always been here right beside me . Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or If I win . It seems I can’t remember my life before you guys were in it . You guys know my every mood ,my every flaw & my every weakness .

& you know how much it’s killing me.

When you love someone and you love them with your heart . It never disappears even when you are apart and when you love someone and you’ve done all you can do .You set them free , and if that love was true . When you love someone it will all come back to
So If you love someone so badly , let it go free . If it doesn’t come back to you , you never had it . It was never meant for you .If it comes back , love it forever
and forever your its true :) . Currently mood : Jiwa Kacau . I know, it is a dilemma , but not bad enough to ruin your life because there must be an uncomplicated way to solve this . I’d say it’s more on the issue of making choices .

When I fall in love with him ...

I love it when you smile and seems to brighten up my life . I love it when you frown

at my sillyness and stubborness . It tells me that you care nd I could never get tired of it :) . No woman’s heart can bear so much . When it has come to this . There’s nothing makes me want to turn back time . & I love that you are the last person I want to talk/message to before I go to sleep at night .

This Thursday 18/3/2010 <3>

Break Up ,

"Why are you doing this to me ? Hurting me over and over again . Before setting me free and you know it too . You’re hurting yourself too . That day when we said our goodbyes
It was not peaceful it was filled with cries . I was broken into pieces and melted,thought I could die.Looking back , I have this to regret , that too often when I loved , I did not say so . It is best to love wisely , no doubt but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all ."

You’ve probably been through it , several times and can still feel a little touched by the same similar sad love . But I'm still alive okay -.- ! Love hurts . Yes , It's really hurts but I will love again when all this pain and sorrow goes away . Like now :) . Yeahhh . hahaha . I have to be strong I have to move on . Your not really for me, your just all wrong . You don't think of me why should I think of you . Moving away from you is the best thing I could do . Like seriously dude . I finally get to be myself and not worry about what you think of me . Now I could finally let you just be . I hope that you know a good girl is what you lack . Someone else can now get my attention and care . Now someone else has a chance to be my new pair .

Better Single than sorry .

Not all of them of course, but it will still hurt. Women got lots to complain about men, especially about the ones close to them, but that doesn’t really mean that they loathe the side of them.
Perhaps it’s just one way to express how they love them that they’re willing to face all those things that they’ve complained about and still stick around.All straight men love women. Of course we know this, it’s only natural that they do. However, they can get easily annoyed with women too, when they do things that get on their nerves especially. We just have to accept that not only women can be all fussy and meticulous, Men can be just as finicky as women do.For me, Better single than sorry.Well,I have been single for the 3months,Finally right :) and I really enjoy my life with my loved one.At the same time,I fall in love with him.If you think about dumping a guy as soon as possible, just be overly paranoid and obsessive about certain things like on him or over yourself. Men don’t really like vain women who think of nothing but herself and how she looks.Agree ?